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Whole30 again? Why?

I'm on day 9 of a whole30. I've done them before and I eat FAIRLY decent(I have my moments) but I felt like it was time to do another.
I was feeling fatigued, anxious, depressed, and my skin was atrocious. I wasn't sleeping well and my hormones were very obviously out of whack. I know a whole 30 improves all of these things so much so my goal was to just jump in and do one. I know how this goes, I've read all the books, I've done a handful of them within the last few years, and I am not new to meal prep. In fact, I have had several false starts in all of January and February of 2017 and I meal prepped almost every weekend of said months. My best friend said that she was ready to do one after a long time of considering it and I jumped on board. Something clicked this time and I have so far been successful.
Why am I doing it this time.
Besides the obvious benefits everyone explains about a whole30, I specifically wanted to feel my best mentally and physically because I'm going on a trip with my oldest daughter to Louisiana. We're going to do work and help people who were effected by the Louisiana floods last august. I have always told myself that I do crossfit so I can be my best self. Mentally to handle every day and physically to be able to chase my kids and play with them, go on a hike anytime the opportunity presents itself  -  and go out and help if I'm ever needed. This opportunity presented itself, my daughter said "I want to go" and I onboarded as well. I thought it was like god saying, "here you go, alicia, you basically have said to me 'here I am. Send me' and I am giving you the opportunity to be sent. You train every day of your life for opportunities like this. You don't stop on the side of the road to help someone with a flat tire because you have your kids with you. You don't know how to bring up Jesus in every day conversation. But here. I've laid this one on a platter for you. I've presented it neatly in a bow. I'm sending you."
At times I have crippling anxiety. I don't know how I have gone from being terrified of sleeping in a different room than my son (I slept on his floor for 3 months) to being able to go 16hours away from him. I guess I do know. I've gotten help. I asked. For. Help. And I know god has provided me with great resources in the form of doctors medications devotionals and good old fashioned spiritual peace.  I cannot explain the feeling in my heart just writing this. The emotions of said anxiety, the gratefulness that I am able to function now a days. The fear of going forward with something so simple yet so life changing and terrifying. I'm having to let go. I have no control once I step into that van and LET SOMEONE ELSE DRIVE ME away from my children. Away from my home. Gosh it sounds so dramatic but it really is for me. And this isn't a way for me to say poor me. It's just a place for me to explain that I have always felt like I needed to be my best physically and mentally for my family but first and foremost for Christ. And right now I feel like I've been given the opportunity to be stretched. And do something I would not of even considered 1 year ago. So grateful.
So this is mywhole30 journey.

UPDATE: I did a "whole30" until I left for my trip. That made about two weeks of health and prosperity. In order to do this trip with the effort and ability and grace that I needed to, I was "forced" to give up this way of eating and eat what I was given, including some healthy snacks I brought for myself. I didn't get sick. I didn't feel too run down, and I wasn't angry about it. I think eating healthy the weeks before definitely attributed to this, but I also believe God put me in a situation to remind me what I've been trying to remind myself all along. That at the end of the day what matters most is how I loved. How I ate, how well I preformed, and whether or not I did a workout or had a successful life, is all secondary. These should only be things that give me a better opportunity to serve and to Love for Christ. So when things don't go as *I* planned, I need to accept that God has a better plan. even if it involves junk food and pasta.


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