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Showing posts from January, 2015


I am blessed.

Please believe me when I say that I know that I am very blessed. Sometimes I wonder if I am in a coma, dreaming all this into reality because for the most part, my life is beyond whatever heaven I could possibly dream up. I have issues, and I have problems, just. like. everyone. else.
Quite frankly, I am generally a mess. But...

Just because I am blessed does not mean I don't have pain.

And, guys, I am really hurting right now. The light in my children's eyes, the way they spontaneously dance, and the jokes they give, all pull me out of this pain, and I have good days, and I have bad days, but mostly, guys? This. Sucks.

I lost. a baby. I am not going to pretend like I know how it feels to loose a child in late term pregnancy, or especially have one born into the world and THEN lose it. No, I cannot fathom that pain. Because I know how much this hurts. I know how often I am brought back to the realities of 4 months ago in that hospital bed, wai…