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Showing posts from 2015

Modifying and prayer

Interesting how God changes us... what He uses and how.... He teaches me something new every day. I am back into working out after a month or so break. Before that month break I worked out inconsistently for a couple months.  Before that I was on a 3 month hiatus due to morning sickness. Before that I was working out regularly but not up to the par that I used to.. I was easing back into it while recovering from an ectopic pregnancy diagnosis. So recently I decided to opt out of my intense crossfit regime and decided to focus on just moving in the convenience and privacy of my home, and the schedule I set for myself. I know when I have the best energy and I know when my kids can have down time and I know when I'm most likely to do work.
So I'm mixing up my beach body programs to find one that suits my needs right now. The best part is I can modify to exactly what my 6 month pregnant body needs right now. Without being embarrassed. Not that I should be.. but I'm always t…

Shame

Shame. Fear.
Powerful, powerful words, and even more powerful emotions.
Mine tie in together.
For the past week shame and fear have worked together and twisted in a dance to promote havoc and emotional pain for me.
I've allowed it.
Do you now why? I have been looking at the world instead of Jesus.
I'm not saying it's a simple answer of a decision of looking up. I have a problem with anxiety that manifests it's way into every aspect of my life every. Single. Day. One problems is resolved and the next fear creeps in. I have no answers for this problem. I only have a Jesus. That loves me  that is for me  that always wants what is best for me. Always wants what is best for you. I need to remember that. So my vow is to take my life up everyday. And remember to lay it down at Christ's feet. That's a struggle. Because I'm still on edge as I write this. But I know this is a process of refinement. A process that involves me to make the decision every day to tr…

StressFactor and Jesus

Hey guys! I completely yet another Whole30 last week. January 2015 got kicked off right. I'm going to use this blog entry to explain my triumphs and disappointment of this round of whole30 and what I'm going to do about it, because if the whole30 has taught me anything, it's that it's best to have a plan of action that I commit to. I can't be sure that my plans will follow through for life, but I can have a plan set in motion to be steady with my emotions and/or actions along the way!

Okay, guys. The Whole30. You've seen me praise it. But I will be the first to explain that it is NOT the end all be all. (The end all be all is God)
As the creators of Whole9 themselves say.. it only STARTS with food.. and according to them, there are a whole 9 factors that play the role in your overall health. I tend to agree with them. I would like to add that I would rather be healthy and whole spiritually than physically any day, but they both tend to weave together believe it…

Grace

I am blessed.

Please believe me when I say that I know that I am very blessed. Sometimes I wonder if I am in a coma, dreaming all this into reality because for the most part, my life is beyond whatever heaven I could possibly dream up. I have issues, and I have problems, just. like. everyone. else.
Quite frankly, I am generally a mess. But...
I. AM. BLESSED.



Just because I am blessed does not mean I don't have pain.

And, guys, I am really hurting right now. The light in my children's eyes, the way they spontaneously dance, and the jokes they give, all pull me out of this pain, and I have good days, and I have bad days, but mostly, guys? This. Sucks.

I lost. a baby. I am not going to pretend like I know how it feels to loose a child in late term pregnancy, or especially have one born into the world and THEN lose it. No, I cannot fathom that pain. Because I know how much this hurts. I know how often I am brought back to the realities of 4 months ago in that hospital bed, wai…