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When life changes so fast...

2014 has been quite the year. It's already month 9 and it feels like it just began. My life has been an extreme roller coaster. I have dealt with panic attacks, two ER visits for myself, one lost pregnancy that threatened my life, quitting my love of crossfit, going from strict paleo to eating ramen, and gaining at least 10 lbs. We have an 8 week old puppy and I am now a stay at home mom who also works part time.

It's time to find balance.


I'm kicking off next week with Peak313's Living and Active Challenge. The plan is to work out 4 days a week. Be mindful of my eating. and study scripture along the way. My days are always better emotionally when I start in God's word. I have been inconsistent with that. I tend to put anything and everything in front of that time. and it's time to not let anything get in the way anymore. start quiet. start with God.
I have an order of shakeology that should be here by Monday. I was ashamed to use it origionally, but I think whatever works for you.... works for you. and in this season of my life, I believe that shakeology would help. The thought of preparing my meals perfectly scares the crap out of me right now. I am getting overwhelmed so easily.
So I'm taking a few steps back so that I can continue moving forward. It's like a cha-cha :) My goals are small again, and my plans are simple.
Be mindful about every single thing I ingest.
Work out 4 times a week.
Stay in the word.

If you'd like to join me, that would be nice, as surrounded as I am by friends and family that have been nothing but supportive and loving, I am in full realization how easy it is to feel alone. No one should ever feel alone.

I want to bring hope to as many people as possible, but I know I cannot be a light until I let the light shine in me. or maybe It will shine in me when I force myself to shine it on others.... any way it works, I'll take it.

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Just another story.

I have been told telling my story will help.. people. I don't see how that is the case but I figure there is some reason I have dealt with the things that I have. So I'll start out simple.


Anxiety.


Crippling. Suffocating. Like a straight jacket warn under water.


Sounds so dramatic. So exaggerated. But it's so real. There's a quote that describes it perfectly "You don't need water to feel like you're drowning, do you?" no. I don't.


I've always had anxiety. for as long as I remember. After I had my youngest child it got significantly worse. It was no longer a panic attack that I would get over once I figured out or was proven everything would be okay. It was tightness in my chest all night and I didn't know why. It was someone is going to get sick and I know that will kill us all. It was sleeping in his room every night for months. It was waking up every few hours to check his breathing. It was my daughter has a sore tooth it's all goi…